I borrowed the catchphrase from Roberto Blake. He’s a YouTube creator, whom I stumbled upon the other day while I was looking for some free graphic design tutorial sessions on YouTube. I was very impressed with his video because he had a certain presence that imbued confidence and knowledge.
This led me to one of his podcasts, which I am currently listening to. Though, he’s not exactly speaking the same way as his video, I just write it off inexperience as the podcast is probably one of his earlier works and the filler noises (umms and uhhs), one of my biggest pet peeves, was just something that slipped in and he probably didn’t rehearse as much as he had in his video. Still, the content was relevant and inspiring.
So, here’s my awesome for today: this post. It’s not meant to be inspirational or something extremely viral that will sweep the Internet. Instead, it’s just me, talking about what’s happening lately in my life and hopefully, I’ll be able to look back and see that I’ve grown. (Crossed fingers that I see this later…And this blog survives. I have a nasty habit of just deleting blogs after a few months because I’m disappointed or dissatisfied with myself.. Almost like an artist that crumples up a draft of a drawing out of frustration or self-loathing. That’s me.)
I’m still working on getting our nonprofit off the ground. After a disastrous first event, where 11 signed up but nobody showed, it gave me cause to pause and wonder what happened. Why would someone sign up and just not show up. Some thoughts that ran through my head were: 1) the ticket was free and there’s no obligation or loss for not showing, 2) something better came up, or 3) all of them were sucked into another dimension in the parking lot.
We still have a lot of work to do for the organization. Policies need to be created and approved by the board, procedures need to be created and approved by the board, plans need to be created and everyone in the organization needs to be involved in moving towards our goals. Everyone should pitch in and if they aren’t pitching in, perhaps, they shouldn’t be given titles. It just seems like everyone is just in it for the fun…the events and playing board games. If that was the case, we should have just created a social club and not an actual 501(c)(3). This isn’t just a hobby to pick up or drop when it’s convenient. A nonprofit has rules it has to follow and people have certain expectations when they hear the phrase, nonprofit.
How can I inspire the others to participate when they don’t even respond to messages? How can I get more involvement from other members without looking like you’re having a tantrum? I should hold the other members accountable. This is their organization, too. Perhaps, they’ll hold a coup and I’ll be ousted from my seat… More to come, I’m sure. I’m also pretty sure that the stress from doing so much for this organization (with little acknowledgement or appreciation) has borked my digestive system and given me stress headaches.
Why do I have so much baggage? It’s mainly because I like being prepared and I don’t want to be caught unawares. I’m pretty sure I can’t just shoot from the hip or work on the fly. My adaptability depends on my preparedness for almost any situation. I have mental escape routes… From almost any point in my office and home. Instead of fight or flight.. It’s flight A or flight B.. And last resort is fight.
On another note, I’ve been thinking a lot about my time and what I can do with it. One thing I really want to do, but can’t honestly commit to without feeling like I’m stretched too thin is helping another nonprofit with their Twitter. I really want to help them. But I feel I wouldn’t be able to devote all of the time that they deserve if I’m still stressing over my own nonprofit. Or is it possible to juggle all of them? Can it be done without burning out? Oh, and when I say all, it includes working for my CERT team, too…. Plus my own personal hobbies, like knitting and cross stitching…
I know, the term is volunteer, but somehow, when I decide to do something, I’m all in. I put everything I have into it. It’s a personal choice, sure. But I don’t expect any less of myself because I’m not getting paid… If I wanted to do nothing, I could stay home and watch television. I must admit, too, that I get a nice warm feeling when I volunteer… If my involvement helps in some way.. even a small way, it’s completely worth it.
Eventually, I’ll have to make hard decisions and confront these problems. I hope I can rise above and do the right thing according to my gut.